Such a pleasant, nicely alliterative title, “The Taliban Tea Party,” don’t you think? Much less suggestive than “The Tea Party Taliban.” The first is evocative of a nice garden scene in Kabul on a balmy early fall day and lots of nice bearded men drinking the excellent Afghan tea while discussing the latest fashions in wearable explosives. “Buttons, wow, that’s old fashioned, but will look divine when you show up at Allah’s side. Wish that little retard would have been wearing the button up version. She wouldn’t have been able to so easily rip it off, like she did her standard, oh so ugly Velcro vest, after a last minute decision that it wasn’t yet her time and, I suppose, that of those cute kindergarten kids, now deprived of a sin free ride to paradise.”  

“The Tea Party Taliban” evokes, rather, a bunch of white folk, with halting language  skills, chattering around a suburban dining room table under a portrait of their hero, Ted Cruz, somewhere in America. “It’s not that he’s black that makes me so damned mad. Oops, sorry about the blasphemy, but that bad Hussein man in the White House just makes me soooo mad. I’m just soooo mad that he’s destroying this fine country of ours, selling it right down that crooked road of communism and socialism and left wing kind of stuff. Imagine, him wanting to make us pay for other people’s health care. Well, people think we are trying to blow up the country, along with ourselves, of course, for political gains. They should be told we are above that. We just want to have a Grand Old Party boy in there. That’s all. Is that so wrong, to be willing to kill ourselves, along with everyone else, to keep God’s country safe?”  

So, what’s the difference between “The Taliban Tea Party” and “The Tea Party Taliban?” I wish I knew.

Share: